10 Things I Hate About You
by ryanzraindrop
Summary: JamesSirius. Mostly humor and fluff with some drama. All the little fights, teasings, and annoying things in their relationship.


_Title: 10 Things I Hate About You  
Author: Druscilla Ryan  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: I don't own the poem or the characters, thank you.  
Summary: I wanted to try a song fic, but couldn't come up with a song, so I decided to do a little drabble using the poem from the movie '10 Things I Hate About You'. It's a bit of a fluffy drabble, with a little drama. Some things are a little different. For instance, I didn't change the words, but when it's supposed to talk about a car I happen to discuss a flying motorbike instead._

**10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU**

_--I hate the way the way you talk to me--  
_  
"Aww...where's my little Jamsey-poo? Prongsy, babe?" Sirius was on a mission. He was prancing around the common room like the hellion that he was, making his boyfriend blush scarlet. "Why is my wittle Prongsy so upset?" Sirius asked, sitting down on James' lap and planting a wet kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

"Sirius, I swear to God, I'm going to kill you before we graduate." James said through gritted teeth, his ears turning red.

"You would never." Sirius said in mock horror. "Moony would protect me." He hopped from one chair to the next, sitting in his straight friend's lap. "Won't you, Moony?"

Remus rolled his eyes and pushed Sirius to the floor, laughing. "Quit being an idiot, Padfoot."

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me ha-ppy when skies are grey . . ."  
_  
James buried his head in his hands. "I give up."

_--And the way you cut your hair--  
_  
"You look like a girl, Sirius." Remus commented from the fireplace, on the day Sirius decided to pull his shoulder length black hair into a ponytail.

Sirius stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. "James! I do not look like a girl! Tell Remus I don't look like a girl."

James fought a smile and tried to be serious. "It's getting kind of long, babe." Sirius glared at his boyfriend. "Not that it's a bad thing . . . do you have to have it in a ponytail though, Siri?"

Sirius gasped. "James Henry Potter. I am completely apalled. You love my hair. You said it's fun to run your fingers through. At least I don't look like a have wasps mating in my hair!"

Remus choked on his butterbeer. "Wasps? Mating? Gods, Padfoot, where's your head nowadays?"

"Or rather, which one is he thinking with?" Lily put in, kissing Remus' cheek.

Sirius pulled his hair out of the elastic and crossed his arms, resolved to not speak to anyone for the duration of the night. Five minutes later, however, he was safe in James' arms.

_--I hate the way you drive my car--  
_  
"Jesus, James, slam on the brakes every five seconds, why don't you?" Sirius groused from behind his boyfriend. "If you wreck this thing or harm it in anyway I'm not having sex with you until it's fixed."

Remus, Peter, and Lily were safe on the ground, laughing at everything their two friends were doing in the air.

"I can't do it." James shrieked hysterically. "You are such a liar. It's nothing like flying a broom. Brooms don't have gears and pedals and handles and--"

"Brooms have handles, you dolt. Well, one at least." Sirius gently blew on the back of James' neck. "Just put in back on the ground, Jamsey. I'll drive if you're scared."

But he laughed and eventually James laughed, although he fell getting off the damned motorbike. That night Sirius kissed his bruises all better.

_--I hate it when you stare--  
_  
James fell off his broom during Quidditch. Again. James was taken up to the hospital wing immediately. Again. Remus, Peter, and Lily stood off to the side. Again. Sirius clinged to his boyfriend's hand and stared at the face he loved so much. Again.

And James woke up saying things that made Madame Pomfrey shake her head and scold him for. Again. "Fuck, Sirius, stop staring at me. I'm fine, Jesus. I'm always fine, you damn worrywart." But James squeezed the hand that squeezed his.

"Language, Mr. Potter." Lily hissed from the doorway in an uncanny impersonation of the matron herself.

Sirius smiled and kissed James cheek. "I know you're fine. You're always fine. I know that." But he smiled all the same.

_--I hate your big dumb combat boots--  
_  
"It's quite obvious you're the woman in the relationship, Padfoot." James said, shaking his head. "And don't you deny it, you dog."

Sirius stuck his tongue out. "Everywhere except the bedroom, you nasty herbivore." He sighed. "But James," he whined, "when are you going to get rid of those hideous boots. They're the ugliest things."

"I like them." James said. "I'm not the one who has enough shoes to rival my mother." he teased.

"You should." Sirius said. "You have, what, three pairs of shoes? Those damn boots, Quidditch, and trainers? Do you even own a pair of dress shoes, James? What do you plan to wear to the ball?"

"You get kind of cute when you're all worked up, Siri." James said, pulling his boyfriend down on the bed with him.  
"Maybe I'll wear the boots so I can hear you bitch all night. And I mean all night."

"James P-" James brought his lips to Sirius' so the remainder of the sentences turned into a 'mmmmm'.

_--And the way you read my mind--  
_  
"Siri?" James knocked on the dormitory door again. "Siri, open up. You can keep me locked out forever, you know."

"Watch me." the boy behind the door snapped, his temper getting the best of him as it usually did. "Leave me alone, James."

"The letter was from your mother, wasn't it?" James asked.  
"Sirius?" He was met with silence. That was Sirius' way of dealing with things he didn't like. Ignore it. "Sirius, open this door right now! Or I'm going to break it open!"

The lock clicked and James slowly opened the door. "Siri . . ."

The boy was crying on the bed. "I don't know why I care." he whispered. "I hate that woman."

"Sssshhh..." James said, taking Sirius into his arms."Ssshhh, baby. It's going to be okay. Don't worry. I'll take care of you, Siri. I love you."

"Love you too, James." Sirius said, raising his lips to kiss his boyfriend.

_--I hate you so much it makes me sick--  
_  
Sirius was sick. Remus, who was the only one with any sense in matters like this, was home for a wedding. James, who had already turned the girl's staircase into a slide by trying to get Lily, was rubbing Sirius' shoulders and holding his hair back as he vomitted into the toilet for the third time.

"Is it the flu, Sirius? Or chickenpox? Or measles? Food poisoning? Is it the Imperius Curse?" James eyes widened more each time another ailment popped into his head. Of course, he knew chickenpox didn't make you vomit, but he thought it might be a rarity.

"You should go to bed, James." Sirius said for the sixth time that night. "I'll be fine, really. It's probably just a bug. I'll be fine."

"Maybe we should take you to see Madame Pomfrey." James said.

"No." Sirius said. "I just want a shower. And then I'll go to bed. And you'll go to bed now, James." The boy looked like a parent at that point, despite the paleness from being sick and his bloodshot eyes.

"No." James said. "It's okay, I'll stay up. I want to make sure you're okay."

"I don't want you to see me when I'm sick, James." Sirius said, dropping to his knees and vomitting into the toilet yet again.

James kissed the back of Sirius' neck after it was over.  
"But I love you when you're sick, Sirius. I love you always."

_--It even makes me rhyme--  
_  
"Please tell me that isn't a book of sonnets." Remus said, coming up behind Sirius in the library.

"Ssshhh." Sirius put a finger to his lips. "I don't want James to know. It's a surprise for our anniversary."

Remus shook his head. "Please tell me you're just picking out a sonnet and copying it onto parchment, Padfoot."

"Oh, but where is the fun in that, most noble Moony?" Sirius said, laughing. "Oh, it can't be that bad. You're going to help me write it after all. You and Lily."

Remus shook his head again, eyes wide. "No way in hell, Pads. You're on your own."

Instead of lowering his head like Remus figured he might, Sirius just smiled and nodded. "You're right. It's going to be much more romantic if I write it myself. But you'll look over my grammar, won't you, Moony?"

And Remus gave into the whining menace that was Sirius Black.  
------------------  
James' entire face lit up when he read what Sirius had wrote for him. It wasn't Shakespeare, of course. It was Sirius. Completely and totally Sirius.

_'You are my James, my beautiful James  
And I'll love you forever despite the pains.  
You are one of the silliest people I know  
But you always smile and you know how to sew.  
You drive my motorbike like a joke  
But you're the most handsome bloke.  
I love you James, forever, it true.  
Until my heart melts and turns to dew.'  
_  
_--I hate the way you're always right--  
_  
James was pink . . . and puffy . . . and itchy. "Don't you dare!" Sirius shrieked in scandalized tones. "You can't itch, James Potter. You'll only make it worse."

"Why didn't you tell me it was poison ivy?" James whined.  
"For the upteenth time, love, I did." Sirius said, handing James another washcloth. "I just didn't know the name of it."

"Oh, yes, and calling it 'that one itching thing I got at camp once' made it sound like you were serious." James said crossly.

"I am Sirius." the boy teased. "Calm down, James. Your mother will be home in an hour and she'll know how to fix it."

"But I itch now!" James said. "I can't stop thinking about it! Itch, itch, fucking itch. God damn it, Padfoot!"

Sirius got a dirty little smile on his face and . . .

When Mrs. Potter arrived home, two boys were waiting to be de-Poison Ivyed.

_--I hate it when you lie--  
_  
"So, what exactly was that on the train with Prewett?" James asked his boyfriend after they got up to the room they shared and started unpacking.

"What was what?" Sirius asked, pretending like he had no idea what James was talking about.

"You said something to him." James said, in a 'don't-mess-with-me-I-know-all-your-dog-tricks' voice. "And you touched his arm. And handed him a piece of paper. And laughed at his jokes. Prewett makes terrible jokes."

"Don't know what you're talking about." Sirius fibbed, pulling out his ratted old blanket and throwing it on the bed. "I didn't even talk to Prewett on the train."

"You are such a liar, Padfoot!" James snapped, grabbing his boyfriend by the collar of his shirt and pulling him close.  
Sirius' cheeks flamed up. "Don't call me a liar."

"Then don't lie." James hissed, his breath hot against Sirius' already warmed skin.

"I was just flirting." Sirius said defensively. "It's nothing to get your panties in a twist about."

"Well, you didn't have to lie about it." James snapped back.

"Well, you don't have to keep such an annoying watchful fucking eye on me, either, James."

They met in the middle, lips against lips, limbs flailing to find a bit of flesh to grab to. They hadn't been home for five minutes before they had amazing sex. It had to be a record.

_--I hate it when you make me laugh--  
_  
"He's mad." Remus informed Sirius. "I wouldn't even try if I were you."

"Ahhh, my dear Moony," Sirius said in what he thought was a pompous voice, "that is why you are not me. If you were me, Moony, then I would be a puppy dog trailing wistfully after Lily Evans. Fortunately, I'm me. And if I were me, which I am, I would go 'try' to cheer James up. Wish me luck, my dearest Full Moon."

James was mad, slamming things around the dormitory, swearing under his breath, and smoking Remus' cigarettes. Sirius started to think that perhaps Remus knew what he was talking about.

"What do you want?" James asked, glaring in the direction of his boyfriend. Not so much because his boyfriend was who he was angry with, but more because inanimate objects don't do such a good job of glaring back.

"I just wanted to say I love you?" Sirius tried.

"I love you too." James said grudgingly. "Now leave."

"But Jamey, it's not good for you to be up here all mad and steamy and stuff. You'll blow a blood vessel in your pretty little head and then I'll be all alone with Peter and Remus for company. Mostly Peter because Remus will be with Lily. Would you wish that on me?"

James glared. Not a pretty thing when James glared. A bit scary really. "Leave, Padfoot."

Sirius turned and started to walk away, when he tripped over his own two feet (a most un-Sirius like accident) and landed on James bed, where for reasons unknown, the teddy bear James never went without landed on his head. Sirius ended up looking like soft homo-erotica (or a Sears ad).

James fought it, but he laughed. "Gods, Padfoot, you look like a fucking idiot."

_--Even worse when you make me cry--  
_  
"Just stop it!" Sirius snapped, putting his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!"

James yanked Sirius' hands down, two inches from his face. "You are one of the stupidest people I know!"

"I didn't mean to." Sirius said. "I didn't think he would actually do it. But he would have found out. James, I'm sorry. I already apologized to Remus. Why do you have to be ten times worse than him?" Tears were streaming down the raven-haired boy's cheeks.

"Why would you do it?" asked James. "Why, Padfoot? Don't you know what could have happened to Remus if--if . . ."

Sirius longed to wipe at his eyes, they stung from so much crying, but James still held his hands. "Yes, I know. I know, but I didn't think. And I'm sorry . . . I never meant for anything to happen . . . I didn't mean . . ."

James sighed and let go of Sirius' hands. "I know." he said softly. "I know. And you're right. If Remus forgives you, I do, too. Just don't do anything like that again, puppy."

Sirius nodded, wiping at his face. "I love you?" he tried.  
"I love you, too." James said, kissing Sirius' cheek. "Now get some sleep, love."

_--I hate it when you're not around--  
_  
_'James,  
Want nothing more than to suck at your neck (and other parts of your body). It is so depressing here. I love you so much. Say you'll be back soon.  
Yours Forever (And Ever and Ever),  
Sirius'_

'Sirius,  
I'm in the bloody Astronomy Tower you sappy git.  
Yours Forever (Without the Endles Repeating of Words),  
James'  
  
_--And the fact that you didn't call--  
_  
_'Moony,  
James promised to fire call at five. It's three minutes past. You haven't heard anything from him, have you? Let me know if you have.  
-Sirius'_

'Padfoot,  
As you stated at time of letter it was five 'o three. You must calm down. James is fine. I'm sure. Stop pacing.  
-Moony'

'Moony,  
I resent the fact you think I was pacing. It is now sixteen minutes after five 'o clock and James Potter has still not firecalled. Are you sure there is no possibility he was kidnapped by Death Eaters?  
-Padfoot'

'Padfoot,  
Shut up. Have a bloody cigarette.  
-Moony'

'Moony,  
Shut up--oh James is home.  
-Padfoot'  
  
"Where the hell where you?"  
_  
--But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you--  
_  
"Leave me alone!" Sirius screamed at the fire where James head was. "Just leave me alone, James!"  
"Fine." James said. "I will, you bloody selfish prat."

_--Not even close--  
_  
Sirius looked at the fire, waiting for a head to pop out among the logs. He buried his head in his arms and fell asleep like that, dreaming about puppies chasing deer and the full moon.

_--Not even a little bit--  
_  
James looked at the fire and sighed. Sirius would never firecall. He was so bloody stubborn.  
_  
--Not even at all--  
_  
A hand shook Sirius awake. "Hey, Pads." James said, kissing the man's cheek. "That's terrible for your back, babe."

Sirius smiled up at his boyfriend. "I love you, James."

James smiled back and kissed the other man. "I love you too, you damn dog."

"Four-eyed freak."

"Damn poof."

"Oh, you know you love me."

"That I do, Siri, that I do."


End file.
